Phrases and title changes

Two posts in one week! Easy, calm down. It might help to sit down and sip at some hot sweet tea. Yeah I know... well I missed last week so I thought I'd have another pop and thus the balance would be restored. Of course the balance isn't really restored. Now and forever last week will be devoid of posts. Barren. Postless in a post-filled world... but it makes me feel better.

Besides, I'm bored again. Seems like I only post here when I'm bored or else when I have something serious to say & I was so hoping that I'd be funnier on here. Ah well, there's still time.

I've decided to change the name of the blog. I like "The path less worn", but let's be honest, it's a bit pretentious, no? I'm not sure if it would pique my interest or put me off. It may well depend on my mood at the time, along with how much caffeine I'd ingested. (This is quite a variable and is a constant factor in my day.)

Anyway, I heard three phrases yesterday that made me laugh. The first was, "Butt gusset". Say that one out loud. Go on, let it roll around your palette a while. The word gusset amuses me in a fairly puerile way anyway, but "Butt gusset" is just taking things to another level. I kind of imagine someone (a guy predictably,) saying "Mmmm... Butt gusset..." kind of like the way he would say, "Mmmm... pizza..." (Or insert another delicious foodstuff of your own choosing,) while staring into the middle distance with a silly grin on his face. I'm not sure why.

The second was, "broken holes". Firstly, How do you break a hole? Surely the only way would be to fill it in again, or in the case of clothing, mend it. Unfortunately the next thing that sprang to my mind was that it was the sort of name a porn site would have and then I started to imagine what sort of content www.brokenholes.com would offer if it existed, to the viewing public and then I felt a bit sick and had to look at my screen saver of funny cat pictures for a couple of minutes to feel better. Not that I'm a prude - far from it, but the images that came to mind weren't pleasant which I'm sure you could argue says a fair bit about me, but I digress.

Now I should point out that both of these were discovered in the description of a pair of jeans on the Internet. Yes, both these nuggets were in the same description. Those are some pretty funky jeans huh? You want a pair don't you? Well I'm not going to give the site any free advertising, mostly because they were a competitor to the company I work for. If you want to try and find them yourself, go ahead. I've given you enough information to start looking, but I would be very careful about the links you click on after googling those terms if I were you. Also I never actually checked if there is a www.brokenholes.com, so if you go-a-surfin' for it, I accept no responsibility for what you may or may not find there. (I think that pretty much covers me either way.)

But what, I hear you cry, what in the name of all that's good and pure and not displayed on www.brokenholes.com, (seriously I never checked,) was the third term? Well, calm down, stop eating foods with so many additives in them, or switch to decaf, (I'm a fine one to talk about decaf - at an old workplace we called it 'laydeecaff' because decaf was deemed unmanly - but it was all very tongue in cheek, so don't get offended,) and I'll tell you.

But first a little background. I'll keep it very short, honestly. OK, so I like irrelevant humour - Monty Python, Vic & Bob, The Mighty Boosh, that sort of thing. It tickles me. So I like coming up with nonsensical phrases and the like. Some of the best ones are by simply by taking two or more, usually unrelated words and finding an interesting juxtaposition. If the phrases instantly make you laugh, bring forth vivid and strange images, connote something, or have a pleasing cadence, then my work is done. If it fulfils two or more of these then I'm as happy as a pig in shit, or some more suitable simile. For example, I once thought about registering www.collapsiblecheesecake.com and making it my personal site. It may still happen.
So I bumped into a girl at work yesterday - I mean literally bumped into, not the 'I met someone who I haven't seen in a while,'type of thing. Anyway, she was carrying a mug of soup and came out with the following line, which just slayed me: "Careful, I'm maneuvering soup here!"
Well that had me. 'Maneuvering soup'. What an absolute gem! It even kind of rhymes! All credit goes to the young lady in question, but I think if questioned, she wouldn't remember saying it, or at least wouldn't remember the exact wording she used, so I think I'm probably safe from copyright litigation if I nick it & use it here.

So ladies, gentlemen, boys and girls as well as hermaphrodites or trans gender persons and those of you still making those important lifestyle choices, we bid adieu to the blog whose name was "The path less worn" and raise our glasses with a hearty 'wilkommen' to toast the entrance of a brand spanking new blog, called "Maneuvering soup."

N.B. The so called 'new' blog will have all these posts in it, because it's not really new, it's just a change of title (and a change of template and colours but that may change again,). Ho hum.