Firstly, it's a religious holiday and as previously mentioned, I am Agnostic. Agnostics do not, as far as I am aware have any holidays of their own, (If anyone knows different, I'd be happy to learn more - perhaps there is a national Agnosticism day somewhere?) and really shouldn't be celebrating other religions' holidays.
The usual response I get to this goes something like: "Oh yeah, but it's not really THAT religious any more is it? It's about buying gifts and spending time with your family etc." Well you know what? There are lots of Christians that think it IS that religious and I think maybe it should be. I would guess that most of the population of my country if pressed would say they were Christian - partly from habit, although many of them probably don't attend church on a regular basis (weddings and funerals do not make you a Christian,). They are probably somewhere between the holy trinity of Christian, Atheist and Agnostic, but the bottom line is most people, it seems to me, just don't care. They will say they don't have time for religion in their lives or that they try to get to church as often as they can or whatever, but they are really mostly just apathetic. They don't care enough to think about it. I think this partly stems from the inevitable cognitive dissonance that arises when you try to teach people about a guy that walked on water and turned water into wine whilst also teaching them about scientific reasoning in the same socialising institution (School, in case you were unsure.).
In any case, as an Agnostic I don't celebrate Yom Kippur, Ramadan or any other religious ceremonies because I don't share the beliefs of the people that do, so why Christmas.
I think Dickins has a lot to answer for. In my society it is NOT OK to dislike Christmas (Possible exceptions exist for people who have had family tragedies happen around this time, but even then other people seem to think by trying to include them in the festivities it will lessen the pain of what happened.). If you do not like Christmas for pretty much any reason, you are treated as some kind of pariah and virtually everyone you know will line up to extol the virtues of this wonderful holiday in order to try and convert you.
Here's the kicker: ask any one of those virtue-extolling celebrants how they are doing in the weeks before Christmas. Invariably you will get an uncensored tirade about how they can't find the perfect gift for their partner, how they've set a spending limit this year, but they are worried their partner will buy them something extra, forcing them to go once more into the breach that is the local shopping centre at its height of Christmas frenzy, how they are sick of shopping, how they might not buy something for someone this year because the present they got from them last year was crap - and so on ad nauseum.
Wander into your local shopping centre on a day when you aren't doing any shopping yourself. Once you have gotten over the dizzying high that the lack of personal stress gives you, take a moment to observe your fellow shoppers. Look at their expressions, their posture and body language and watch how they interact with each other. See much goodwill and cheer? I thought not. What you will see is stressed out people trying to find wish-list gifts, most of which will end them up getting into debt in order to buy and taking much of the next year to pay off before it all starts again.
Fights have broken out over the last (x) in the shop. People beep their horns at each other in frustration because everyone and his mother have decided to drive in to the shops as well. It's just crazy.
Another issue I have with Christmas is that it's just crass and vulgar. The thing is, conventional thinking has got to the point where even people that cover their houses in lights, tacky ornaments and all manner of crap, (including inflatable Homer Simpsons dressed as santa,) are seen as 'getting into the spirit'. I'm sorry, the spirit of what? When the wise men brought gifts for Jesus, it was gold, frankinscense and myrrh, not a snowman that flashes different colours while singing and dancing along to all your favourite Christmas hits (Don't even get me started on Christmas songs. The same fucking selection of maybe 10 songs played constantly for a period of approximately two to three months in every shop you go in, as well as T.V. and radio, all but maybe one of which I loathe and even that one by the time Christmas is over. Does no one else notice it's always the same songs every bloody year?). If those same people covered their houses with all manner of crap at any other time of year they would be viewed as garish and possibly unbalanced, but do it at Christmas and the worst you get is being seen as extroverted. I'm all for extroversion by the way, but I'm also all for taste. Even your average house has a tree full of tinsel, (Oh for the love of Pete do I dislike tinsel,) various shiny ornaments that rarely match and enough lights to illuminate the Gobi dessert at night. It's as if these people, even those whose houses are normally paragons of minimalism and style, temporarily give their interior decoration duties over to a crack team of magpies with kleptomania.
The thing is, everyone buys into it, despite hating having to do it, despite some of them not following the religion it celebrates, even some of them despite knowing that historically, Christ was supposed to have been born in January and the 25th December was chosen because it was the winter solstice and the Christians converted many pagan holidays into Christian ones in order to ease the transition and coerce pagans into adopting Christianity (See also 'Easter' or 'Oestre' as it was originally known, which has the same root word as Oestrogen and was a festival of fertility - hence the eggs and bunnies which are symbols of fertility and have absolutely nothing to do with the resurrection of Christ.).
Yes, despite all of this, most people I know fall for it every year, getting themselves into debt or at least blowing a large sum of money and hoping for some decent presents in return and that's partly the reason why.
It is said to be better to give than receive and I know many people that really do enjoy giving presents, (I myself do find pleasure in getting something nice for someone I care about, I'd just rather do it on their birthday, or some random day just because I felt like it.) but honestly most people are looking for some kind of (preferably equivalent,) reciprocation. You give in order to receive.
On a related note, it's interesting that a similar form of control is exerted over children at Christmas to the type I mentioned in my religiosity post - "If you're good Santa will bring you lots of presents, if you're bad, you won't get anything."
The other, and far more compelling reason I think most people participate in this charade of excess is that they were brought up doing it, and everyone else does it. That's a pretty hard cycle to break. Add in the facts that they get to over consume, spend money, receive gifts and get time off work & you have a winner that's going to keep the economy chugging along for another year.
But! (I hear you cry,) What's the alternative, considering that everyone does it? How can you possibly get out of it without your family disowning you? Well, yeah that can be a problem, especially for those of you who have families that don't like their members to think for themselves, (That's not a jibe, I know they exist & you have my sympathy,) but there is a simple way. What I did was to explain to my family that I didn't particularly like Christmas, that I thought the spirit of the holiday, (which I am totally in favour of by the way, it's just that it never actually happens,) had been lost, to have been replaced by crass and rampant commercialism which left me cold. I stated, in no uncertain terms that I would not be buying anyone any gifts and I asked that they buy me nothing in return.
If people did buy me things, I would receive them thankfully, but state again that I would not be buying them anything, even whilst feeling guilty for not reciprocating, because it's the only way to get out of the cycle. Call me a bastard if you like, but if I say I'm not getting you anything & get me something just in case I do or in case I was kidding, that's your problem. If you want your gift back, (and I have to say that this has never happened,) I have no problem with that but it just illustrates the point that you were only doing it to receive something in return, not for the pleasure of giving.
The way I view this problem is in the same way I view any problem; (I class anything anybody considers to be a problem for them to be a problem. I don't believe you should have levels of problem because then you get a friend talking to you about a problem they have & you give the reply, "You think you've got problems! Let me tell ya..." which helps no one.)
If you have a problem, you have exactly three options:
- Do something about the situation. Do anything about it, but at least try to make a change of some kind.
- Accept it and try to integrate it into your life somehow. This is a fallback from (1.) and is used in three cases:
- The problem is small enough to effectively ignore.
- The problem is going to be temporary.
- You adopt a zen like stance and adjust your plans accordingly, viewing it more as a challenge. (I like (3.))
- Sit on your ass and whine about it to anyone within earshot.
I really hate whining myself and I dislike whiners. Whining is like worrying - neither accomplish anything except making you and more than likely in the case of whining, the person you are whining to, feel worse.
Your best bet if you have a problem is to get off your ass, stop whining and do something about it yourself and stop waiting for your mummy or the world to do it for you. Take responsibility, make choices, even if they're bad ones and then stand up and take your licks for the bad ones and learn your lessons. Apply Occam's razor indiscriminately. (If you don't know, look it up - that's how you learn, applying the do it for yourself principle.) Break things down into solvable problems instead of shitting yourself because you looked at the big picture.
This is the way I approached my problem with Christmas. Here's a rough transcript of my thought process:
"I don't like Christmas, it's crass and over commercialised and the real meaning has been lost under a sea of needless spending."
"My family all celebrate Christmas. This could be a problem."
"My family are all reasonable, intelligent people for the most part, so I should just talk to them about it & make sure they understand that it's not anything against them but a choice I've decided to make for myself."
"Anyone who still has a problem with it can talk to me about it, but I'm still going to do this & they will have to accept that as a fact. After that, it's their problem."
Basically, make the problem simple, then do what you have to do to solve it. Explain yourself to the people it affects but tell them that this is what you are going to do and provided you ensure they understand your reasons and that you're not doing it to upset them, you should be able to do it, but you do have to be prepared for some people to have an adverse reaction - some people don't like change or people that think for themselves but I have to say the view from the road less travelled is considerably better than the one populated by the throng of the masses. Sounds a little pompous, but when was the last time you made a decision that went against 99% of people you know?
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